Incorporating your child’s racial, ethnic and cultural heritage into your family - C.A.S.E. - Nurture, Inspire, Empower
Email Icon Newsletter Sign Up
  • Events
  • Blog
  • Store
  • Login
Fundraise
Donate
close
  • Login
  • Store
  • Blog
  • About Us
    • Overview
    • Mission, Vision & Values
    • Board of Directors
    • Emerging Leaders
    • The C.A.S.E. Team
      • Overview
      • Kathleen Dugan, Founder
      • Debbie Riley, CEO
      • Staff
    • Annual Reports
    • Partnerships
    • Our Impact
      • Overview
      • Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Adoption Recruitment
      • Policy & Advocacy
      • C.A.S.E. Stars of Adoption
      • Awards & Recognition
    • Careers
    • C.A.S.E. Locations
  • Counseling Services
    • Overview
    • Counseling at C.A.S.E.
      • Overview
      • Tele-mental Health Services
      • Individual & Family Counseling
      • Consultation
      • Child & Teen Groups
    • Who We Serve
    • Meet Our Mental Health Staff
    • How to Schedule an Appointment
  • Adoption Competency Initiatives
    • Overview
    • Directory of TAC Trained Mental Health Professionals
    • Training for Adoption Competency (TAC)
      • Overview
      • About TAC
      • TAC Sites and Partners
      • TAC Participants
      • TAC Trainers
    • National Training Initiative (NTI)
  • Education & Resources
    • Overview
    • For Parents & Families
      • Overview
      • Free Resources and Links
      • W.I.S.E. Up!®
      • Strengthening Your Family Webinar Series
      • Resources and Events for Northern Virginia Families (NPAC)
    • For Professionals
      • Overview
      • W.I.S.E. Up! Become a Certified Trainer
      • Jockey Being Family Backpack Program
      • Educational Trainings for Parent Groups and Professionals
      • Webinars
      • Resources and Events for Northern Virginia Families (NPAC)
  • Get Involved
    • Overview
    • Donate
    • Planned Giving
    • Ways to Give
    • Corporate and Foundation Partnerships
    • Events
    • Volunteer
    • Internships
  • Growing Together Campaign
    • Overview
    • Campaign Goals & Leadership
    • Unique Challenges of Adoption & Foster Care
    • Growth Capital Priorities
    • Planned Giving
    • Endowment Fund
    • Donate to the Campaign
    • Growing Together Campaign Donors
  • NTI
Newsletter Sign Up
Fundraise Donate
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Incorporating your child’s racial, ethnic and cultural heritage into your family

Incorporating your child’s racial, ethnic and cultural heritage into your family

Share this
cultural heritage of family

Being able to acknowledge biases or blind spots as parents makes it easier to support your kids and hear what they have to say about their experiences in a cross-cultural family.  First and foremost, as an adoptive or foster parent, acknowledge differences between yourself and your children; be honest with yourself about how it makes you feel to sit with that difference.

As an adoptive parent, you should then be open to initiating a family conversation about where your child comes from and your desire to celebrate how that influences who they are. Some common topics of exploration include physical features, languages learned before English, ethnic foods, and cultural celebrations or traditions.

6 Ideas for Exploring Your Child’s Racial, Ethnic and Cultural Heritage

  • Read books and articles together with your child about racial differences.
  • Visit restaurants from your child’s birth country.
  • Find social events that celebrate your child’s culture.
  • Connect with cross cultural parent groups and youth groups.
  • If your family is religious, explore your faith in a cultural context that represents your child’s ethnicity.
  • Connecting your son or daughter with positive role models who look like them and understanding their experiences is critical. Think about who in your own social circle can fulfill that need.  Consider neighbors, coworkers, and friends who share your child’s heritage – invite them over for dinner and create space for these people to become closer family friends.

Children who have been adopted who came home at a younger age will need more parent led exposure to these opportunities while older adoptees bring a lot of information and opinions about how they want to remember and honor their heritage.  Regardless, the need for you as a parent to be curious and supportive about exploring cultural identity still exists.  Sometimes wrapped into these exchanges are the sharp feelings of loss, of a reminder that the people who look like me, speak this language, eat these foods or listen to this music are not able to raise me or take care of me.  As an adoptive parent, it can be difficult to see your child hurting in this way or especially troubling when that hurt is directed at you.

Your child’s struggle is not about you

Your son or daughter is figuring out who they are, how they fit into this family, and ultimately in this world.  Try not to take things personally. Persist in learning about your child’s culture and allowing your child to express and work through their feelings within the safety of the family. 

Many parents worry that acknowledging and exploring ‘difference’ will create emotional distance within the family.  The opposite is true.  Encouraging children to be vulnerable–to put unspoken thoughts into words so that they can experience being fully known by the people who love them–fosters closeness and increases a child’s self-confidence.  Every child is unique. Some children will embrace more parts of their heritage than others and it is perfectly normal for interest in cultural exploration to come and go in waves. The best thing an adoptive parent can do is to continuously open the door to exploration and let your child lead you in (or out) of that door.

Written by Mabilia Rastello, LCSW-C  Adoption-competent Therapist

Share this

Related Posts

  • image

    Talking to your kids about racism and building the important skills of understanding, empathy and resiliency

    A Letter From C.A.S.E.’s CEO, Debbie Riley, LCMFT, April 2021 S[...]

    Read More
  • image

    Why is it important to seek the services of an adoption-competent therapist when concerns first arise with your child, rather than waiting until adolescence or when a crisis occurs?

    First, it’s never too late to pursue therapy from mental health professionals trained in adoption competency. Adult adoptees and adoptive parents who [...]

    Read More
  • image

    This Is Us Birth Mother Episode: A Reflection from an Adult Adoptee

    In one of the most recent episodes of the popular TV show, This is Us, viewers get to journey alongside Randall Pearson, the adopted son of R[...]

    Read More

Contact Us

3919 National Drive, Suite 200 Burtonsville, MD 20866

Other Locations

General

301-476-8525
caseadopt@adoptionsupport.org

For More About Our Mental Health Services or to Schedule an Appointment

866-217-8534

appts@adoptionsupport.org 

Connect With Us

Stay up to date on C.A.S.E. News and Events

Enewsletter Sign UpFor Email Newsletters you can trust.

C.A.S.E. Privacy Policy

Press & Media

Support Us

C.A.S.E. is a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization.
EIN 52-2100734

2020-Guidestar-Platinum-Seal
Best in America 2017 Seal
2020-21-Stamp-Dark-Blue-No-GW
CFC11123