Email Icon Newsletter Sign Up Email Icon 866-217-8534
  • C.A.S.E. institute
  • Events
  • Store
  • Blog
  • Careers
Fundraise
Donate
close
  • Login
  • Store
  • Blog
  • About Us
    • Overview
    • Mission, Vision & Values
    • Board of Directors
    • Emerging Leaders
    • The C.A.S.E. Team
      • Overview
      • Kathleen Dugan, Founder
      • Debbie Riley, CEO
      • Staff
    • Annual Reports
    • Partnerships
    • Our Impact
      • Overview
      • Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Adoption Recruitment
      • Policy & Advocacy
      • C.A.S.E. Stars of Adoption
      • Awards & Recognition
    • Careers
    • C.A.S.E. Locations
    • 25 Year Anniversary
  • Counseling Services
    • Overview
    • Counseling at C.A.S.E.
      • Overview
      • Tele-mental Health Services
      • Individual & Family Counseling
      • Consultation
      • Child & Teen Groups
    • Who We Serve
    • Meet Our Mental Health Staff
    • How to Schedule an Appointment
  • Adoption Competency Initiatives
    • Overview
    • Directory of TAC Trained Mental Health Professionals
    • Training for Adoption Competency (TAC)
      • Overview
      • About TAC
      • TAC Sites and Partners
      • TAC Participants
      • TAC Trainers
      • 2021 TAC Star of Adoption Award Nomination
    • National Training Initiative (NTI)
  • Education & Resources
    • Overview
    • For Parents & Families
      • Overview
      • Strengthening Your Family Webinar Series
      • In-Demand Webinars
      • Free Resources and Links
      • W.I.S.E. Up!®
      • Post Adoption Support Resources for Maryland Families
      • Post Adoption Support Resources for Northern Virginia Families (NPAC)
    • For Professionals
      • Overview
      • Live Webinars
      • In-Demand Webinars
      • W.I.S.E. Up! Become a Certified Trainer
      • Jockey Being Family Backpack Program
      • Educational Trainings for Parent Groups and Professionals
      • Post Adoption Support Resources for Maryland Families
      • Post Adoption Support Resources for Northern Virginia Families (NPAC)
  • Get Involved
    • Overview
    • Donate
    • Planned Giving
    • Ways to Give
    • Corporate and Foundation Partnerships
    • Events
    • Volunteer
    • Internships
  • Growing Together Campaign
    • Overview
    • Goals, Impact & Leadership
    • Thank You Campaign Donors
    • Donate to C.A.S.E.
    • Endowment Fund
    • Planned Giving
  • NTI
Newsletter Sign Up
Fundraise Donate

W.I.S.E. Up! Workshop Bonus Material

We hope you found the special edition of our W.I.S.E. Up! workshop beneficial and worthwhile. As an added bonus, all attendees have received access to this exclusive resource page.

Download a copy of today’s workshop presentation slides.

Please make sure to visit our FREE RESOURCES page as well for recommended books, movies, articles and more.


Developmental Differences in Understanding Adoption by Adopted vs. Non-adopted Children and Teens

Download a PDF version 

0-4 years

Adopted

  • Generally does not realize differences. ​
  • If notices them, likes to point them out. ​
  • Feels OK about adoption and thinks story is special.

Non-adopted

  • Generally does not realize differences. ​
  • If notices them, likes to point them out. ​
  • Feels OK about adoption and thinks story is special.

5-6 years

Adopted

  • Child begins to ask many questions about babies, birth, differences.
  • Likes adoption story, but does not understand concepts. Feels some differences especially in multi-cultural families.​
  • Tells most people that he/she is adopted.

Non-adopted

  • Child begins to ask many questions about babies, birth, differences.
  • Does not understand adoption, but wonders about it when it comes up – and often asks simple questions.
  • Accepts adoption as a way to form a family.

7-11 years

Adopted

  • Child understands basic concepts of adoption and begins grieving process.
  • May stop asking questions/denial and realizes lost something to be adopted.
  • “Not everyone is adopted like me.”
  • “Why was I adopted?”
  • “Why didn’t they keep me? Did I do something wrong?”
  • Increasing interest in birth parents.
  • Fantasies about living with different parents.

Non-adopted

  • Does not understand adoption concepts, but begins to sense that it results when parents “give away” child.
  • Reaction to adopted peers based on information from adults/media.
  • “Not everyone is adopted like he is.”
  • “Why was she adopted?”
  • “Could my parents give me away? I am glad I am not adopted.”
  • “Adoption is okay because I like you OR adoption is not okay because I don’t like you”
  • Fantasies about living with different parents.

12-14 years

Adopted

  • Anger stage of grieving and developmental stage.
  • May resist authority and try on new identities.
  • Begins separating from two sets of parents.
  • May be angry over loss of control (i.e. adoption decisions) –wants more control.
  • Growing sense of self – identity issues.
  • More complex reasoning about adoption story and needs to look at grays.
  • Rejects kids who are different.
  • Generally does not talk about being an adoptee.
  • What does sex have to do with adoption?

Non-adopted

  • Anger stage developmentally.
  • May resist authority and try on new identities.
  • Begins separating from one set of parents.
  • Wants more control in life.
  • Growing sense of self – identity issues.
  • Sees many differences about adoptive families.
  • Oversimplifies how adoption occurs and does not understand emotional issues.
  • Rejects kids who are different.
  • May be negative about what he/she perceives what adoption means about adoptees.
  • What does sex have to do with adoption?

15-17 years

Adopted

  • Separates from two sets of parents.
  • Has second layer of concerns about leaving home.

Non-adopted

  • Separates from one set of parents.
  • May face concerns about leaving home, but usually feels secure about its permanency.

Did you know we also sell a W.I.S.E. Up! Pocket Guide and a W.I.S.E. Up! Powerbook for Foster Care?

Visit our online store

Contact Us

3919 National Drive, Suite 200 Burtonsville, MD 20866

Other Locations

General

301-476-8525  (phone)
301-476-8526 (fax)
caseadopt@adoptionsupport.org

For More About Our Mental Health Services or to Schedule an Appointment

866-217-8534

appts@adoptionsupport.org 

Connect With Us

Stay up to date on C.A.S.E. News and Events

Enewsletter Sign UpFor Email Newsletters you can trust.

C.A.S.E. Privacy Policy

Press & Media

Maryland Post Adoption Support Services

Northern Post Adoption Consortium

Counseling Services

Training for Adoption Competency (TAC)

Support Us

C.A.S.E. is a 501 (c) (3) charitable organization.
EIN 52-2100734

Website Maintained by