Shrinking and Adoption: A Missed Opportunity

Shrinking is an award-winning series on Apple TV starring several famous actors including Harrison Ford and Jason Segal. The show centers around a group of therapists, their friends and families and the various plotlines connecting them.

Michael Urie plays Brian, the best friend of Jason Segal’s character. In the second season, Brian and his husband, Charlie, decide to pursue adoption. Their storyline follows them from the decision to become parents all the way through the adoption of their daughter.

In typical comedic fashion, several moments in the show rely on adoption-related humor and stereotypes. At one point, Charlie announces they have “found a baby,” and their friend Liz jokingly responds that she has “always wanted a mixed-race baby.” Some viewers may find these comments cliché or insensitive, particularly given the complexities surrounding adoption and identity. At the same time, the series appears to use this style of humor as part of its broader comedic approach, which often leans on exaggerated or uncomfortable situations for laughs.

I was not surprised that adoptees became the subject of the writers’ humor, nor by the show’s reliance on familiar adoption tropes and tasteless jokes. What stood out to me, however, was that the emotional center of the storyline remained focused almost entirely on the adoptive parents rather than the adoptee. In a narrative rooted in adoption, the absence of the adoptee’s perspective felt like a missed opportunity for greater depth, nuance, and authenticity.

Shrinking largely frames the adoption process through the lens of Brian and Charlie — their hopes, their comfort, and the path that feels most manageable for them. In doing so, the show gives comparatively little attention to the relationship between their daughter and her birth mother, or to the important role that connection can play in shaping a child’s identity, understanding of self, and sense of belonging over time.

Many people in the adoption constellation have worked tirelessly to bring adoptee lived experience to the forefront of the conversation, after years of putting the attention and needs of the adoptive parents first. It was disappointing to see that current best practices were not encouraged in the Shrinking adoption storyline, reinforcing traditional adoption narratives. At the same time, the show’s popularity also creates an opportunity. With its wide audience and emotional storytelling, Shrinking is well positioned to deepen mainstream understanding of adoption by elevating adoptee voices, exploring identity with greater nuance, and portraying the complexity of adoption relationships more thoughtfully in future storylines.