Adoptees Surpassing The Six Stuck Spots: Missing/Difficult Information

Adoptees Surpassing The Six Stuck Spots: Missing/Difficult Information

Beneath the Mask Missing Difficult Information wording next to yellow mask with orange question
Written by Rachel Shifaraw, Adult Adoptee, C.A.S.E. Emerging Leader & Creative Content Specialist
Published on: Apr 04, 2024
Category Adult Adoptees

As adoptees sometimes our “reasons for adoption” catapult us into a whole new stuck spot. In my own personal journey, seeking out my reasons for adoption led me to learning some really difficult information.

I’ll never forget the feeling of finding out I was created by rape. I felt filthy & disposable. Struggling with the fact that I wasn’t created out of desire or love but out of viciousness & violence, I stood in the shower scrubbing my body, hoping I could wash away the cringing feeling that was scurrying across my skin.

I soon came to the quick realization that not only was this section of my story difficult but it meant I’d have a lifelong left to live with unanswered questions. Since the odds of discovering my paternal family are highly unlikely, now I have missing information on top of what was already really difficult to digest.

What is an adult to do when they have discovered chapters they can’t quite comprehend? There are parts that hurt, there are blank pages that even as a writer, I cannot write myself & I have even MORE questions than I had before I opened my file of adoption papers.

I’ve turned to C.A.S.E. to help me sail these stormy seas of adoption. As a co-facilitator of the adult adoptee support group, I find myself surrounded by an army of adult adoptee warriors who are also discovering they’re STILL getting stuck in our stuck spots decades into their adoption journeys…

It’s like suddenly the adoption stuff comes back into play & I’m thinking ‘oh! It’s you again! You just have a different face’…” one of our participants said.

Our facilitator, C.A.S.E. training specialist, Tony Hynes began to chuckle…

I like that ”, Hynes continued in deep thought…“It just has a different face”, he repeated.

I think that’s what adoption continues to teach us. These stuck spots don’t go away and even while they do appear to get better, they always seem to pop up again…just wearing a different face. I’ve found some faces are filled with expressions of all the things adoption has positively brought to my life…while other faces are full of past traumas, conception via sexual assault & generational cycles that need to be broken.

Throughout all of this, I’m thankful to have been gifted to learn of an organization that can provide me all the proper tools as I walk this journey. C.A.S.E. continues to help me challenge all these faces of adoption with courage, care & support.

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