What Safety Feels Like: Reflections for Counseling Awareness Month
What Safety Feels Like: Reflections for Counseling Awareness Month
Published on:
Apr 21, 2025
Category
Adoption
When I think about what drew me to becoming a therapist, I think of myself as a child and the big feelings I had. As an African American girl, I didn’t always feel that I had the space for big feelings or that my family had the capacity to handle my big feelings. I found ways to confide in teachers and friends and noticed that talking with others who looked like me felt very safe. That feeling of safety led me to want to provide a similar sense of safety for others.
My father was a police officer in Washington, DC and I saw how proud he was to be in the helping profession. He took pride in helping to keep his community safe, and I was inspired to do the same. Although I did not see being a police officer as something I could ever do, he talked with me about other professionals who he worked with, and it started to give me some ideas about what I might pursue.
I was first introduced to the idea of counseling in undergrad when I experienced some difficulties with my classes. I was not academically performing to what I thought was the best of my ability, and was led to speak with a counselor to explore and process what was happening. Through speaking with someone, I was able to challenge my feelings of defeat and felt safe and strong enough to make decisions about my education that were best for me. This experience, along with earlier experiences with my family, led me to adjust my thoughts on possible careers.
My interests were heavily rooted in supporting children and families, and specifically families who were touched by connected to adoption. When I reflected on my conversations with my father and how I wanted to provide safe spaces for others, becoming a social worker (particularly a therapist) seemed like a natural fit. During my graduate studies, I learned that there was a disproportionate number of African American children in foster care and not enough workers who looked like them. When I thought back to my own counseling experiences, I knew that I specifically wanted to work with someone who looked like me because I wanted someone who could understand me.
At C.A.S.E, children and families impacted by adoption, foster care, or kinship care navigate the Seven Core Issues of Adoption: Grief, Loss, Identity and Belonging, Intimacy, Control, Shame and Guilt, and Rejection. These issues can show up in an adoptee, an adoptive parent, and the birth family. When the Seven Core Issues show up, acting out, avoidance, self-sabotage, having trouble focusing, sadness, fear, unworthiness, or anger may arise, and I have seen this happen in my own work with clients. Adoption and foster care may not always be the presenting issue that clients seek help for, but I have seen that adoption and foster care can be an issue that intensifies challenging behaviors or feelings.
When I think of Counseling Awareness Month, I think of what my younger self wanted and needed. I also think of what the adoption, kinship, and foster care population need as well. For me, that all starts with being comfortable and safe. I currently work with all types of families, and I can help them process difficult events that may have happened in their lives and as well as really big feelings they are having. I take pride in empowering my clients to face challenges head on and to believe in themselves, which includes seeing, hearing, and understanding them. I may not have experienced everything that they have, but the environment I provide to help them feel safe and explore change is what makes the work valuable for both of us! This is important work, and I am proud to walk with my clients and support them through any challenge that comes their way.
