Everlasting – A poem by Zoe Evans, C.A.S.E. Emerging Leader, in recognition of National Adoption Month

Everlasting

I don’t remember the first time I thought to ask—
Maybe it was a school project,
Or the continuous comments people have said,
You don’t look like your parents.

The questions started small,
Like pebbles dropping into water.
What did they look like?
Why didn’t she keep me?
Did she love me?

Each answer was a door.
Some opened into rooms,
Filled with reassurance and truth.
Others…stayed closed,
And I learned how silence
Can be both protection and a wound.

I began to see my reflection differently—
not just my smile and single dimple,
But the shadows behind my eyes.
Was this hers? Was that his?
Or was it simply… mine?

I loved my family—
That was never in question—
But loving them didn’t stop me
from wondering about the life
That came before I was theirs.
What could have been an alternate reality of mine.

I’ve realized my story
isn’t a straight line;
It is weaving—
Threads from people I’ll never meet,
and threads from the hands
That gave me a second chance at life.

I’m still asking, still searching.
And maybe the answers
will never be complete,
But they are mine to carry,
and in them,
I keep finding more of me.