Children who experience early loss, whether through relinquishment or neglect, often carry a deep wound of abandonment. Add a severe change in circumstance, perhaps through one or more subsequent homes, and the child can become dizzy from all the disruption. Such children do not usually sit down and say, “Mom, this is what I’m feeling.” The dislocating pain of their experience is not referenced. There is no standard by which to say, “Oh, this is why I’m feeling this way.” In cases of abuse, this adds yet another layer.
The feelings from such experiences may be too painful to acknowledge—even to oneself. Rather than say, “There’s something wrong with me,” it’s easier to say, “There’s something wrong with you,” or “I’m fine” or “I hate you” or “You’re not my real mom” or ‘nothing at all’. But the feelings continue to churn inside, and they are expressed behaviorally if not verbally.
This webinar aims to delineate some of the common core concerns in foster and adopted youth such as abandonment, attachment, control, identity, belonging, developmental diffusion, neglect and trauma, with tips on how to navigate this maelstrom without sinking the family boat.
Join us LIVE on Thursday, February 7th 2019 1PM – 2:30PM EST
Extended Access Available February 7th – March 9th, 2019
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John Sobraske is an adopted person, a stepparent of adopted children and an adoption psychotherapist in private practice in Rochester, New York. As a graduate fellow at the University of Minnesota, he participated in research on open adoption and early stress. He is currently researching attachment and object relations as they relate to adoption. Research interests include adoption in anthropology, history, media and mythology; depth work with adult adoptees; and the use of natural medicine and psycho energetics for healing.